Everyday,
Developing new habits that I just don't understand.
I am constantly tapping my foot,
Waiting for something to happen,
Anxious,
Like an atom bomb is going to hit me,
Or the next apocalypse is going to start any minute,
Or something else that's very very very bad..
I am always picking at the skin around my fingers,
Never biting my nails,
Always biting my skin.
I have cuts and scabs all around my nail beds.
They keep me company while I endure the AP classes and standardized exams.
I just always thinking about failing at life,
So I bite myself,
Hoping if I bite hard enough, I can go numb.
I go to school,
Stay after everyday for rehearsal,
Come home,
Eat dinner,
Clean,
Do productive things...
Then sleep,
sleep,
sleep.
At about 1, I wake up,
I do my homework.
I stay up until the wee hours of the morning,
Then go to school.
It seems strange but it's working.
I miss you,
I miss you a lot.
It's stupid, I know.
I check your Twitter, and your Facebook...
Then I remind myself that isn't what I should be doing.
I think of you.
I know I like you.
I know I want you to be mine.
But if I miss (fore mentioned character),
I don't want you yet,
And waiting is so hard,
But I will.
Unfortunately I feel as if these are cycles I go through,
Everyday.
Get anxious,
Go home,
Escape,
Wake up,
Get depressed,
Get happy,
Sleep,
Wake up,
Get anxious,
Go home,
Escape,
Wake up,
Get depressed,
Get happy,
Sleep....
and so on.
How do I break out?
