Vicious Cycle

Being upset causes me to be upset. I absolutely hate wasting my time having negative feelings towards things when I could be spending my time wisely and enjoying myself. I just can't pretend to be happy anymore either. I used to be able to, but now it just isn't worth the effort. Unfortunately, this makes my sadness or anger noticeable. People will then start to ask me what's wrong and try to help, but I feel like lately I just don't want anyone's help. Scratch that. I want the help of one specific person. I might not know who that person is at the time, but I know that if I talk with them that I will feel better. Again, sometimes I know who this person is. Other times, I don't. Lately, it's always a boy, and particularly, whichever boy I'm interested in romantically at the time. It makes me feel stupid and pathetic. I should be able to either deal with my problems myself or accept help from someone that isn't a potential partner. The fact that the words of my friends are much less significant to me just because they can't give me affection the same way a boyfriend can really makes me upset. And that makes me upset. And here we go in a vicious cycle.